The Great Norwegian Famine

I like history. To be clear, I really adore history. To clear it up further, I discuss my baby sister's world history projects with her not because I'm a fabulous big sister and role model (feel free to argue this), but because I love discussing hundred years old scandals. Sometimes, I read old history textbooks, and I'm currently lapping up every word in a book called "The Middle East, a History".

Now that's cleared up, allow me to clarify that this post is not, I repeat not, about a Norwegian famine hundreds of years ago. Nor is it metaphorical. The Norwegians, who top the rankings in both public and personal wealth, are currently experiencing a textbook famine of the butter variety.

See? Forbe's says so here.

I've never had a reader from Norway, so I say we all celebrate our ample butter supplies with the below cranberry apple butter recipe courtesy of The Flying Biscuit in Atlanta, where butter abounds. Vive le beurre!

Fixins'

2 cups of dark brown sugar

1 cinnamon stick

1 1/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1 teaspoon ground cloves

1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice

2 cups cranberries

10 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced

Simmer first 6 ingredients in saucepan. Add cranberries and cook until they begin to pop. Maybe hold off on putting on your celebratory butter ensemble until after this step.

Add the apples and cook until tender. Then, cream in food processor or mash with potato masher.

Enjoy, and if you feel like doing a happy dance, I totally support you.

Like a Rolling Pin (Only Not)

In college, I set to make out my first pie crust sans my mother's amply supplied kitchen. In addition to realizing how much nicer it is to work on beautifully smooth and infinite granite islands instead of the minimal cracked plaster subsitute college counters, I found myself faced with quite the obstacle - a mound of pie dough and no rolling pin.

Now, while we're all unique in many ways, I'm quite certain I am not in this predicament.

Never fear fair readers because I have solutions for you.

Turning back to that fateful day three (how is that even possible?) years ago, I wrapped an empty wine bottle in wax paper and voila, a transformer of the culinary kind came to be.

Other options are to take just about any empty and dry long liquor bottle and follow suit.

Why empty, dry, and long?

Empty because you need even weight and sloshing liquid is not your friend. Dry because we all know that too much moisture a bad pastry does make, and long because you want to cover maximum surface area with the greatest of ease.

Why wax paper?

To keep your pastry from sticking to the glass/plastic/other smooth surface.

If you happen to have baseball-aficionados around, one of their mini souvenier bats works even better. Might I just suggest that you give it a thorough cleaning first?

The folks at atypyk were clever enough to combine the two

A Bite, a Ball, and a Bevy of Ladies and Gents - Holiday Cookies Explored

This weekend was the first weekend in months where I haven't been scheduled every moment of every day, so following a birthday celebration of one of my nearest and dearests Friday evening, I set to baking most of Saturday and Sunday.

I thought long and hard about pitching this gingerbread man recipe against that one, or his sugar cookie against hers and ultimately, I decided you might find it more useful to be presented with a variety of not necessarily similar cookies for your choosing.

There are 3 things THIS, THAT, and ANOTHER have in common this week.

1. They are all very easy (never fear a stovetop!) and quick to produce
2. They are under 100 calories a piece
3. They are beyond delicious in every way you'd want a holiday cookie to be

We'll start where I started, with THIS, Good Housekeeping's Shortbread Bites. These adorable little 1x1 inch cookies are perfectly festive, attracting the younger set, but one bite into them by the first adult will reveal an addictive, buttery concoction that you just can't quite quit.

My Army of Bites Pre-Bake

Recipe Ease: With a mere 4 ingredients, THIS makes Claire Robinson's pie look like a brain scratcher. THIS is a great one to include children in the baking process or to whip up when you have less than an hour to spare prior to your party.

This Texture = Time to Get Your Hands Dirty

Yumminess: These will sneak up on you, that's for sure. You'll remember your first bite and 15 bites in, wonder where they all went. We're not looking at an incredibly sophisticated flavor, but it's buttery and delectable and those crunchy nonpareils add just the bite to shake up the otherwise one-note texture. I don't know about you, but I've never been one to find any incredibly flaky pastry resistable.

How to Form Your Rectangle In a Mess-Free Fashion

Health Benefits: Okay, as you'll see, THIS is primarily butter. Butter and a few other ingredients that don't find themselves on the top ten healthiest of the healthy list. However, each one of these teensy bites will set you back a mere 40 calories, and in my world, that's Miracle of Hannukah-worthy.

$$$: Like all low ingredient recipes, THIS should require no additional purchases, unless you're me and insist on both Hannukah (blue and gold) and Christmas (red and green) themed versions.

Best in Show-worthy: THIS is not the type of cookie you want to bring to your uber sophisticated party, nor is it something with which you will demonstrate your extreme culinary prowess. THIS is perfect for childrens' parties, family gatherings or other casual get-togethers, but trust me, whether the median age is 5 or 50, they'll disappear in minutes.

Snowquakes in Texas

THAT is Country Living's Double Chocolate Snowquakes, and I must confess I made these in large part because I was entirely intrigued by the chutzpah a recipe-maker must have to call a simple Chocolate Snowball recipe a SnowQUAKE recipe. Well, I surrender happily to the elves at Country Living who have indeed created a Chocolate Snowball that will rock your socks off, Snowquake-style.

Recipe Ease: THAT does require more work time and snooze time than THIS. I am not typically one to go for recipes that necessitate "resting" time for the baked good. They can rest when they're dead as far as I'm concerned (which I would like to happen sooner rather than later). However, the steps are quite easy to follow and I used my one hour holding period as an opportunity to walk it out 'round Memorial Park.

This is what creamed butter looks like, yep, keep whipping

Yumminess: Chocolate Snowquake indeed. Be prepared upon first bite to have your world rocked, your core shook, [insert other appropriate metaphors for total droolworthy awesomeness here]. THAT is decadence taken to a new level.

I rolled out all the balls, put them in the fridge for a hot second, and then rolled in powdered sugar

Health Benefits: If the yumminess factor hasn't already sold you, this will - SEVENTY CALORIES! Yes, that's right, I just committed a writer's sin and both all caps-ed you and exclamation marked you all in the same sentence. I think it was worth it, don't you?

After the Blizzard of a Powdered Sugar Variety

$$$: THAT is most definitely pricier than THIS, however, as far as a chocolatey dessert goes, it requires nothing more than good old American Hershey chocolate chips and cocoa powder. Bang for your buck, guaranteed.

Maybe not for Santa, to avoid a powdered sugar beard and mess by the fireplace

Best in Show-worthy: THAT is definitely an attention grabber. People levitate towards its chocolate-y goodness and after the first person takes a bite, they'll live up to their name...an earthquake will ensue by the mass number of people rushing the dessert plate.

 Given that it is the holiday season, I felt extra generous and thought I'd provide ANOTHER sweet treat for you and yours. I'm happy to introduce one of the very first recipes I invented all on my own. I like to call it My Gingerbread Army. This recipe came about after mass levels of frustration with the amount of spice and kick in other gingerbread man recipes. ANOTHER has nearly double the spice you'll find in most recipes and requires no "resting" time per my previous note of hatred.

They are deliciously spice packed and come in at only 75 calories a piece.

My Gingerbread Army

The Fixin's
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsulphered molasses
2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp allspice
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp cloves
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup butter (1 stick)
1 egg beaten
3.5 cups flour

To Do
In saucepan, heat the first six ingredients to boiling over medium heat and stir

This is what boiling spices look like

Remove from heat and stir in baking soda.  Don't be scared as it will foam up and lighten in color.

Stir in butter until melted. Then stir in the egg.

Add the flour until dough forms.

dough formed in saucepan

Then knead dough on floured wax paper until combined in a round shape.

dough formed via kneading

Roll out to 1/4 inch and cut with cookie cutters of your choosing

dough rolled to 1/4 inch

Bake approximately 12 minutes at 325 degrees and enjoy

Pre-tan

The Very Important December 9th

As you may or may not already know, today is not only lovely in every way because it is Friday, but it is also National Pastry Day.

So make sure you save some room to honor all our fallen pastries of past, present and future.

Tea for Two

and two for tea...

There's nothing cozier on a cold day than snuggling up on the couch with a cup o' tea, or even a whole mug for that matter.

While I adore green tea for both its flavor and it's superwoman-energy powers, it tends to give me rather uncomfortable heart palpitations. Given my hatred for coffee until quite recently, the cold New York days had me searching for an alternative beverage to provide both the necessary warmth and energy I required to make it through a real, true-blue (literally, I turn blue) winter.

In walks chai, rhymes with 'pie', tea. A quick history and nutrition lesson for you: chai is Indian in origin and as with most of my favorites, health benefits abound.

It's loaded with antioxidants, benefiting your heart and your lungs, increases your metabolism and alertness, promotes digestion, and improves circulation and your immune system. All this in a favorite mug of your choosing  (mine has a daisy on the bottom).

Here's a fabulous recipe for two to not only encourage your awakening culinary prowess but also to put $4 back in your pocket that Starbuck's otherwise would've taken.

2 cups water
1 tsp of cardamom pods, whole (or 1/2 tsp cardamom dried)
1/2 tsp of cloves, whole (or 1/4 tsp cloves dried)
1/2 tsp each of cinnamon, ginger, black peppercorns, and allspice
2 black tea bags
1 cup milk (soy, cow, goat, almond, etc)
honey or sugar to taste

In a saucepan, put in water and all spices and simmer for 15 minutes. Add the tea and milk and cook for 10 minutes longer.

Strain into mug/cup and enjoy...with Mary Poppins.