Taking a Bite Out of the Big Apple

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Intervention, of a Veggie Burger Variety

Dear readers,

I have a confession. My name is Lindsey and I have a veggie burger addiction. I'm here today to face these issues and also pass along my addiction to you so I no longer feel so lonely.

Even before I said goodbye to beef (circa almost ten years ago) and poultry (circa six months ago), I was always drawn to the veggie burger above any other variety. Ever since I had my very first one at Beck's Prime at the tender age of twelve, I've been obsessed. That crispy exterior, creamy but textured middle and the melange of spices? Entirely seductive in my world. 'Where's the beef?', you may wonder. I don't really care.

Who was it who said "never mess around with a good thing" (I'm paraphrasing again)? Well, clearly Beck's Prime did not get the message because they had the gall, ney the sheer audacity, to change their veggie burger recipe. And now, I'm left with a choice between those pasty, astronaut food reminiscent Boca Burgers, or a slight step up in the flavor department for $10.

Veggie Burger loving world, this is not okay and we're not going to stand for it!

And so, due to the stars aligning (or mass intake of coffee and chai tea), I resolved on Monday evening to make my very own Veggie Burger from scratch, and boy howdy was it ever worth it.

As I mentioned before, texture notes were key in my calculating the perfect patty, and I read conservatively 20+ recipes before creating my Frankenstein version. She needed to have a crunchy exterior, a soft interior, loads of texture, and more flavor than Flava Flav (speaking of which, whatever happened to him?). The challenge for me was figuring out how to maintain the above while also ensuring it didn't crumble when you looked at it wrong. That and it had to have a full serving of protein and plenty o' fiber. No big deal, right? [insert sarcasm]

At the risk of claiming to have achieved the impossible, I have to tell you, I did it. What's better than achieving the impossible? Today, I'm sharing my recipe with you. (please send all noteworthy praise to the comments section).

teaser shot alert - this is post adding every condiment known to man and pre other-worldly first bite experience

Now, I must warn you that the ingredient prep does take a solid thirty minutes, but I have two comments regarding that. One, it's still faster than hauling your hiney to your nearest burger joint, ordering, and then getting a sub par substitution. Two, comparing this to those microwave versions that shall remain anonymous is like comparing a hot lava chocolate cake fresh out of the oven to a tootsie roll...just don't even go there.

I lined up all of my ingredients prior to beginning. It makes it easier and less worisome that you may forget someone. Here we have from top left: mashed rinsed and dried black beans, ground oats, broccoli slaw, sauteed onions and garlic, almonds, bread crumbs, spice mix, soy sauce, ground flax soaking in warm water. In the middle: olive oil, fresh oregano, toasted pepitas

Servings: 8 hefty sized veggie burger patties
Time to Oven: 30-45 minutes
Inspiration: Oh She Glows
Ingredients

1/2 cup diced white onion
3 garlic cloves minced
2 1/2 tbsp ground flax soaking in 1/2 cup + 1 tbsp water - this is a vegan substitute for eggs and also allows you to taste as you go without fears of salmonella - yipee
1 cup of ground oats (you can grind in a coffee grinder easily)
1 1/2 cups bread crumbs
1 cup broccoli slaw
1 cup black beans (from can is fine) - mash roughly
2 tbsp oregano (any fresh herb will do)
1/3 cup chopped nuts (I used almonds)
1/3 cup pepitas
1 1/2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp soy sauce
10 drops of tabasco
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp dried basil
1/2 cup water reserve - to add one tbsp at a time if your mix needs more liquid
OPTIONAL: salt and pepper - I didn't find either necessary, but give it a try and see

To Do

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Sautee onion and garlic with spare olive oil

Add all ingredients into bowl and mix well

You'll notice the mixture is slightly dry, so take your 1/2 cup water reserve and add to the mixture one tablespoon at a time until it is easily formed into patties. You do not want it to be mush, but it should no longer be crummy. Depending on the climate, you may add all of the 1/2 cup or less.

Form into 8 round patties and place on a parchment papered baking sheet

Bake for 25-30 minutes, flipping the patties once in the middle

Serve immediately

Storing Leftovers

Let cool completely

Wrap in celophane or cling wrap individually and place all leftovers in plastic bag and freeze

slice onion horizontally (as seen here) - make two to three slices but do NOT go all the way through the end

slice onion vertically (as seen here) - make 4 to five slices. you may need to hold it together on either side

finally slice through and you will have perfectly diced and even onion slices

sautee diced onions with the 3 minced garlic cloves and olive oil until soft - approximately 3-5 minutes (NOT the 1 1/2 tbsp of olive oil)

combine all of the ingredients into a large bowl and mix well with fork or spoon until thoroughly combined

pretty little patties before they meet their maker

I'm drooling just looking at the completed product. Would you judge me if I went three for three days in a row? Just look at that crunchy exterior, would you?

Serving Options:

prepped spicy pickles, spinach, romaine, and sliced red pepper

My Costa Rican lover (sorry Jon). I add this to everything, everything, I tell you - eggs, salads, sandwiches, excessive veggie burger eating...

Food Porn:

This one has sliced cucumbers, spicy pickles, romaine, spinach, sprouts, Lizano, and a dollop of Greek yogurt stuffed in a whole grain toasted pita...I swear the veggie patty is in there too

Lizano, monstrous veggie patty, red pepper slices, spicy pickles, kale, and romaine stuffed in aforementioned whole grain toasted pita's sister 

approximately 2 minutes later - see how it holds it's shape even while facing the true horror of a hungry lady?

approximately 4 minutes from start...

Nutritional Information:

According to the lovely CalorieCount website, this recipe, if made into 8 servings, provides 2 whole servings of fiber, a full 8 gram serving of protein and 275 calories per massive patty.

Alternative Ingredient Options:

You can easily swap out the black beans for red or white beans.

Feel free to change up any spices for your favorites of equal proportion.

Don't like the idea of flax? I'm sure that replacing it with one egg would work just as well. Be sure not to taste test as you go though.

Don't like broccoli? Grate up some carrots instead.

Not an almond fan? Chop up some walnuts or pecans in their place.

No pepitas? You can leave them out entirely or substitute sunflower seeds. I wonder how pinenuts would do...

Feel free to add a slice of cheese to the top or even grated cheese to the mixture pre-baking.

Alternative Cooking Methods:

While I haven't tried it yet, these are definitely sturdy enough to withstand pan-frying. Just add a bit of olive oil or cooking spray and cook approximately 4 minutes on each side.

You may need to nuke it for 30-45 seconds or so if you're pan-frying leftovers from the freezer.

Alternative Serving Options:

Oh how the ways in which to eat this glorious thang abound.

It would be incredible with any bread form - sandwich, panini (my next go to), wrap

Crumble it up on top of a salad.

Can you think of any other ideas?

Give it a try and let me know your thoughts.

xo
L, a veggie burger addict

Chocolate Chip Love Nougats - A Continued Quest for Perfection

As you may have figured out by now, I am forever on a search for perfection. I spend much of my free and even my not so free time pondering different methods of getting to the perfect job, the perfect life-attitude, and the perfect black pump. Apparently, this is not so healthy, but no one said I couldn't ruminate ad-nauseam on the road to the perfect chocolate chip cookie. Which I do. Often.

I spent the weekend dreaming up a cc cookie worthy of sending to my collegiate brother as a special "we miss you already" treat. To be worthy of Tier of Perfection status, this cookie needed to hit a long list of criteria. To keep on top of my list adoration...

1. It needed to be BIG because for as long as I remember, it has been a family goal to pack the calories into my brother's gullet with or without consent. It's the 5 hours of tennis that do it. That and the fact that he happened upon the good end of the family's metabolism.

2. This cookie needed to be simple. No zest, or coconut, or nuts allowed in "pickiest eater of the millenium" boy's cookies.

3. It needed to somehow involve the mass supplies of left over brownies our kitchen has accumulated over the past two weeks. We're talking huge here y'all. Northwards of 40.

What I ended up with was a crispy-edged, cakey centered, BROWNIE filled cookie that held its height well and inspired all sorts of moans and groans from visiting patrons. This cookie is as sturdy as they come until you break into it. It's like those rough and tumble gangsters in movies who really have soft and ooey gooey insides at the end of the day. But they're not too sweet, heaven forbid.

Taste-wise, the partial usage of whole wheat flour gives it a mildly sweet, slightly nutty taste that really balances well with the carob chips. Don't have whole wheat flour? Just use all-purpose for both measurements.

DISCLAIMER - In no way, under any sort of sun, does this taste, act, or look like a healthy cookie.

Now, here I sit (literally), presenting you with my newest Tier of Perfection Chocolate Chip Cookie nominee. I've happily given her the thug name of Love Nougats. It just came to me.

Mademoiselle Love Nougat I

Ingredients

About 3 premade brownies cut into about 1 in x 1 in pieces (normal size, not Fat Wich Brownie size for all you New Yawkers)

2 sticks of butter, room temperature

1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar (no, you may not use dark brown sugar. Tough luck.)

2 eggs + 1 egg yolk

1.5 tbsp vanilla

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

1 cup all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

dash of salt

1 1/2 cups carob chips (yes, you may use whatever chips your heart desires or your pantry contains)

Start by engaging in a throw back to your younger years - combine both flours, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl. Admire your new-age muted tone sand art for a hot second and then wisk.

Then, whip yourself up some butter. One day I'll get a better camera, but in the meantime, allow me to restate for the thousandth time the importance of whipping it good (do do do do do). It's the only chemistry I understand.

Once your butter is as whipped as your last significant other (badoom-ching), add the brown sugar and whip it some more

Then invite your eggs and vanilla to the party

And whip it some more

Then add in your sand art and mix (no more whipping. sorry) until combined but do not over work the batter or you will get a grody cookie for which I do not take an ounce of credit

And now it's time for the unfashionably late attendees. Add in your chips of choice and combine well.

Now, put the batter in the fridge for an hour and go watch the latest Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, or go to the gym. I did both, clearly.

If you're feeling insanely impatient, I give you permission to put it in the freezer for 20 minutes. You're welcome.

place no more than 6, nearly 1/2 cup round of dough on each baking sheet. Then push one of your brownie morsels (the love nougat) into the center. Don't be shy about it.

Then work the dough to ensure that the brownie morsel is as close to the center of the dough as possible. Put it in the oven at 350 degrees for 15-17 minutes, rotating the pan once in the middle of the bake time.

Then take out and cool in the pan. It should be cool to the touch within 30 minutes and is not fragile. THAT is a dinner plate. These Love Nougats are massive.

No, it's not as drool-worthy as it looks. It's more so.

This recipe will make around 12 massive cookies, perfect for sending to starving college athletes.

I can't wait to try dipping a corner in melted bittersweet chocolate next time around.

I'll Tell You Whatcha Want Whatcha Really Really Want

That's right readers, we're having a Spice Girls soundtracked food selection chat today inspired by a thought provoking "you are what you eat" conversation with Jon. I hope it brightens up your Tuesday sufficiently.

Circa a handful of years after this instant classic first hit American shores, I found myself incredibly lethargic and terribly hungry for days on end without any ability to quench either feeling. As it turns out, I was anemic. The moment I learned this, I started pumping my body with the likes of beef (which I stopped eating shortly thereafter...oh moderation), cherries, and dark leafy greens. Lo and behold, the change was evident almost immediately and I went on to continue my quest for earth-conquering.

From that moment onward, I have always been a firm believer in trying to fix all my problems by adjusting eating habits towards potential nutrient deficiencies from which I may be suffering, ever so bravely. And, if you think about it, I bet you know quite a few remedies as well. Think chocolate for a broken heart (or a happy heart, or a busy heart...really any heart) or chicken noodle soup and an orange for a cold.

Well, dear ones, today I present you with a real treasure - a conversion chart for your cravings. Okay, to be honest, even after my possession of this chart, I still turn to chocolate when I crave chocolate instead of nuts. And yes, oftentimes, whatcha really really need to temper that craving is the exact food you really really want.

This doesn't mean it can't be useful. So, to avoid delay any further, might I introduce you to your new bestie courtesy of natureopathyworks.com? Give it a try. You may be surprised.

If you crave this…	What you really need is…	And here are healthy foods that have it:
Chocolate	Magnesium	Raw nuts and seeds, legumes, fruits
Sweets	Chromium	Broccoli, grapes, cheese, dried beans, calves liver, chicken
	Carbon	Fresh fruits
	Phosphorus	Chicken, beef, liver, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy, nuts, legumes, grains
	Sulfur	Cranberries, horseradish, cruciferous vegetables, kale, cabbage
	Tryptophan	Cheese, liver, lamb, raisins, sweet potato, spinach
Bread, toast	Nitrogen	High protein foods: fish, meat, nuts, beans
Oily snacks, fatty foods	Calcium	Mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, kale, legumes, cheese, sesame
Coffee or tea	Phosphorous	Chicken, beef, liver, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy, nuts, legumes
	Sulfur	Egg yolks, red peppers, muscle protein, garlic, onion, cruciferous vegetables
	NaCl (salt)	Sea salt, apple cider vinegar (on salad)
	Iron	Meat, fish and poultry, seaweed, greens, black cherries
Alcohol, recreational drugs	Protein	Meat, poultry, seafood, dairy, nuts
	Avenin	Granola, oatmeal
	Calcium	Mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, kale, legumes, cheese, sesame
	Glutamine	Supplement glutamine powder for withdrawal, raw cabbage juice
	Potassium	Sun-dried black olives, potato peel broth, seaweed, bitter greens
Chewing ice	Iron	Meat, fish, poultry, seaweed, greens, black cherries
Burned food	Carbon	Fresh fruits
Soda and other carbonated drinks	Calcium	Mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, kale, legumes, cheese, sesame
Salty foods	Chloride	Raw goat milk, fish, unrefined sea salt
Acid foods	Magnesium	Raw nuts and seeds, legumes, fruits
Preference for liquids rather than solids	Water	Flavor water with lemon or lime. You need 8 to 10 glasses per day.
Preference for solids rather than liquids	Water	You have been so dehydrated for so long that you have lost your thirst. Flavor water with lemon or lime. You need 8 to 10 glasses per day.
Cool drinks	Manganese	Walnuts, almonds, pecans, pineapple, blueberries
Pre-menstrual cravings	Zinc	Red meats (especially organ meats), seafood, leafy vegetables, root vegetables
General overeating	Silicon	Nuts, seeds; avoid refined starches
	Tryptophan	Cheese, liver, lamb, raisins, sweet potato, spinach
	Tyrosine	Vitamin C supplements or orange, green, red fruits and vegetables
Lack of appetite	Vitamin B1	Nuts, seeds, beans, liver and other organ meats
	Vitamin B3	Tuna, halibut, beef, chicken, turkey, pork, seeds and legumes
	Manganese	Walnuts, almonds, pecans, pineapple, blueberries
	Chloride	Raw goat milk, unrefined sea salt
Tobacco	Silicon	Nuts, seeds; avoid refined starches
	Tyrosine	Vitamin C supplements or orange, green and red fruits and vegetables

My Weekend with Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte, and Orville

I fully realize I'm opening myself up to some serious critiques given my most recent film selections, however I'm going to put it out there that I spent a good portion of Sunday morning curled up on the couch with Nichole and Sex and The City, The Movie.

This weeks digression - I promise I really do have quite a long list of classic film favorites. Audrey, Grace, and Leslie are confidantes of mine.

I was having a glorious time of it with my hot cup of tea until the first food scene popped on the screen, and I was immediately infected with the worst kind of food envy. So was Nichole. We settled on popcorn given that we were watching a movie and she really likes to lick the air best when it tastes of popcorn.

Given that the SATC ladies looked like THIS

We couldn't settle for popcorn that looked like THAT

So, naturally, this weeks competition is one of jazzed out proportion - fancy schmancy popcorn, worthy of witnessing a two hour stream of McQueen, Westwood, and Lagerfeld.

Who is participating in the walk-off this week? In THIS corner, we have the king of chocolate, Mister Jacques Torres with his Chocolate Caramel Popcorn. And, in THAT corner, the queen of butter, Miss Paula Dean is here to knock y'all's socks off with her Grandma Paul's Caramel Corn. We'll finish it off with ANOTHER option or two (or five) to really amp up your movie-watching treats.

Also, this is Nikki, or Nichole as I like to call her in the hopes that one day she'll have an air of sophistication about her if I say it often enough.

she isn't always this happy, but right about here, she thinks she's eating the luscious caramel popcorn by licking the air...it would be so sad if it wasn't so comically endearing

For both recipes, we start out with oodles of popped popcorn. You can pick your favorite popcorn-making-method and go for it, however, as a friendly reminder, do not use already flavored popcorn.

I used my handy dandy air-popper that my astute younger siblings gifted me for Hannukah. She's my new favorite toy and we're very happy together.

I started with Jacques' chocolatey delight. This shouldn't come as a shock to anyone. No offense, Paula.

sneak peak alert. that's right, go get yourself a box of tissues for the onslaught of drooling that's getting ready to commence

Recipe Ease: I was a little bit nervous prior to beginning because Jacques is such a master and I, alas, am not. However, as the great Al Einstein noted, (I'm paraphrasing) if you can't explain it simply, you don't know it really well at all you nitwit, Jacques is a gloriously fabulous teacher. I had not difficulty at all.

In total, this recipe took around 30 minutes to get to cooling time which was dually awesome as I had SATC on pause at a very captivating moment (no worries, I'm not plot spoiling, but it may or may not have involved a Pretty Woman-esque fashion show) and I have very limited patience between chocolate making and chocolate eating.

As you know, Jacques received at least two brownie points (popcorn kernels?) for ditching the candy thermometer.


the sugar mixture beginning to caramelize - this is the time to pause the movie because caramelizing sugar is very needy and will go full-on golden-brown within seconds of this point

Yumminess: As a self professed chocolate and popcorn lover individually, THIS is the equivalent a food Mecca in my world, that lovely place where worlds collide in the most fabulous of ways. What I love most about THIS, is it's not overwhelmingly sweet. The bittersweet chocolate allows for  a more sophisticated (if popcorn can be called sophisticated, which, in my book, it most certainly can) flavor as opposed to a 'two bites and you're in a sugar coma' flavor. The caramel isn't so much a noticeable flavor as it adds a nice thin layer of crunch to the popcorn.

oo and ah for a moment or two and then get this thing off the burner before it gets mad and sours on you (literally)

Health Benefits: Truly, you could do much worse. Popcorn is jammed full of fiber and the bittersweet chocolate avoids adding additional sugar. Overall, THIS is lower in sugar than THAT, but let's not fool ourselves, they're both treats.

cooling caramel - it will be super sticky so don't fret over separating it out. just give it a good plop onto the parchment papered pan while you double broil or microwave the oblivion out of your chocolate of choice

$$$: I had absolutely every ingredient in my kitchen. THIS is definitely a great choice for those in earnest search of penny-pinching treats because even if your pantry is lacking in corn-syrup or chocolate, it requires minimal amounts which translates to minimal dinero.

drizzling the chocolate - avoid the urge to bathe in it. I know it's difficult, but just remember "deep breaths". I drizzled in batches because I was too lazy to get a big enough bowl. Feel free to follow suit.

Best In Show-worthy: In my faux-grown-up world, THIS is the hands-down winner. It took significantly less time, involved less temperamental ingredients (baking soda is such a diva- stay tuned), and provided an incredibly delicious treat worthy of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte's approval.

so chi-chi

THAT is one of Paula's best dishes from her kitchen to ours. It is a buttery (surprise, right?), smooth and creamy-sweet caramel popcorn recipe from her quite famous although never seen grandmother, Paul. I still find the fact she has a grandmother named Paul shocking. Does no one else?

warning - do not, even for a fraction of a minute, find yourself disappointed in the lack of total caramel coverage. trust me, you will need the break every bite or so given the only thing sweeter than the caramel is lovely Paula.

Recipe Ease: THAT is a wonderful caramel corn recipe for one reason in particular - no thermometers involved. While it has a few more steps than THIS, it should be nearly full-proof even for the most novice cooks out there. It does take siginificantly longer than THIS with the hour in the oven, however by that point, it requires very little babysitting.

pretty boiling caramel - like ooey gooey deadly in a different way lava

To maximize multi-tasking, I fully support pilates rotations during the fifteen minute bake periods. By this point, Carrie and the gang are in Mexico and you'll be totally distracted from any muscle failure that may be threatening.

try not to find yourself totally distracted by the chemical reactions that occur after adding the baking soda. as I mentioned, she's a diva, so just let her smooth out and raise the caramel and diligently pour it on the popcorn as instructed

Yumminess: THAT is carnival caramel popcorn on steroids. It is so incredibly smooth and creamy, almost as though you melted candy caramels all over the popcorn. Unlike THIS, it does not create a crunchy cover. THAT is incredibly, almost to the point of overwhelmingly sweet. And this is why Paula and her oddly named grandma Paul deserve a gold star. Somehow, they reached the very climax of sweetness without killing it. Kudos ladies...or butter sticks, whichever you'd prefer.

when you first mix the popcorn prior to putting it in the oven, you may worry as big globs of the caramel are not easily spreadable. DON'T. That's what the oven is for. It melts the caramel slowly, allowing it to fully coat the popcorn over the course of the hour. Don't be fooled by the accents, readers, we're dealing with genius.

Health Benefits: just look away

see?

$$$: I also had all the ingredients for THAT and wouldn't be surprised if you found you did too.

Best in Show-worthy: THAT is the perfect treat for children of all ages. It will take you back to the best of your carnival days and then some. While it is not quite as sophisticated as THIS, I would be shocked to find any complainers in the crowd. And, if you do, I'd highly suggest having their heads checked. What is not to love about caramel corn? Unless you hate caramel. Then maybe avoid this whole post.

how could you not smile?

There are so many options with these two treats, and I've had the hardest time waiting to tell you about them.

For THIS, consider adding crushed nuts, shaved coconut, a light spreading of sea salt or spicy peppers if you're feeling daring just after you've drizzled. To amp it up even more for the true chocoholic, add a drizzle of white chocolate, milk chocolate or dark chocolate after it has cooled.

For THAT, why not make it chocolatey? Add a drizzle of bittersweet chocolate after it has cooled. I would avoid adding milk or semisweet as it could take the sugar content overboard for most tastebuds. You can also add chopped honey roasted peanuts just prior to putting it in the oven.

Do you have any favorite popcorn recipes?

What is your go-to movie watching treat?

And, most importantly, which SATC character are you? Just call me Charlotte York McDougal Goldenblatt the second.