The Best Baking Plans of Mice and Men and Me

often go awry.

I had a plan.

A glorious plan to make a healthified strawberry shortcake.

A strawberry shortcake so delightfully delectable it would pass the high standards of two serious strawberry shortcake lovers, my daddy and Jon.

It all started so well. This is the last time these tasted pleasant.

Alas, my clever thought to use a flax egg instead of a real egg, almond milk instead of heavy cream and whole wheat pastry flour instead of all purpose flour, wasn't so clever after all.

This is okay though.

This is why you have me.

I make the mistakes for you.

You impress your honey bunches of oats with your mad pastry skills.

Everyone is happy.

I even let you take the credit.

Aren't I giving?

I digress...

This is the prettiest one too....

It doesn't look too too terrible covered in whipped cream and oozy gooey strawberries, does it?

The moral of the story this evening is, do not make my strawberry shortcake.

It's rather dense, and as my incredibly disgruntled father exclaimed, "YUCK. There's no flavor. There's absolutely no flavor in that thing. Grrross.".

Allow me to provide perspective.

This is coming from a man who kept a smile on his face proclaiming "YUMMY" when indulging in my first baking project, a yellow play-dough water concoction.

Never fear my loves, I put my chin up and got right back to baking you a most scrumptious berry crumble. So delightfully sinful, (dare I say it?), you won't even miss the chocolate.

Unfortunately for you, after 4 hours in the kitchen following a 3 hour conference call at work today, you've happened upon a super sleepy me. One so sleepy that I can't find it in me to accurately convey the amazingness that is this berry crumble. I promise I'll come 'round by tomorrow.

Digression #2 of the day: in addition to speaking French some days, I also have days that consist of me making up words such as "healthified" and "amazingness". My apologies.

In the meantime, I hope this teaser suffices.

Patience is a Virtue

...or so I hear anyways.

HINT - She's so ve-ve-very extraordi-di-nary
She's Strawberry Shortcake. Coming to a blog post near you shortly.

Jour Deux, Lava Cake Du Jour

C'est Magnifique

Sometimes, I like to pretend I speak French. Today is one of those days.

Why? Because today, I am presenting you with a recipe that deserves a Bon Appetit article and cover. As such, I can't accurately describe how spectacular it is in English. So clearly, I'm going to try to in a prettier language, albeit one of which I know less than 50 words.

In my family, the be all end all of dessert world is a chocolate lava cake. If it is on the menu, it will be ordered. In fact, one of the rare moments of silence that falls upon us is during the first 15 seconds or so when we're all overcome by the extase of those first bites.

Well, yesterday I was in a recipe funk. I wanted to make you a truly spectacular non-chocolate Valentine's Day treat. Apparently, in order to do so, one must have in their possession mass amounts of heavy cream. Alas, I did not. Frustration ensued, and as you know, my go to cure for mass levels of frustration is chocolat.

Hell-bent and in a complete tizzy, I ran 'round the kitchen like a mad woman throwing this and that together until voila I had happened upon a true masterpiece. When it came out of oven, the following scene ensued between my baby sister and me:

Me: Holy mother of chocolate pearl, Melly get IN here.
Her: Fiiiiinnneeeee. [in her 'I'm a 16 year old and therefore I care about nothing' voice]
Me: It's chocolate lava...
Her: I'll get the spoons. [in her future corporate, 'I get things done' voice]

Then we proceeded with moans and groans that would probably make everyone feel uncomfortable in the retelling. You'll have to experience it yourself.

The first quarter inch of the cake is fluffy and light. And then, the real magic happens and out oozes a slow and deliberate silken river of chocolate lava. It's a once in a lifetime experience you can experience your whole life.

Did I mention there's only six ingredients and total time spent is 30 minutes including baking time? That's right, mes cheries, hop in your cars, on your bikes, or on your feet and get yourself to the store.

What could be better for you and your honey on Valentine's Day?

Chocolate Lava for Lovahs
Servings: 2 (of course)

Ingredients

1/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1 egg (room temperature)
2 1/2 tablespoons cake flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon espresso powder - you will not taste the espresso at all, I promise, it just enhances the flavor of the chocolate. Kind of like it enhances your energy when you drink it.
pinch of salt
*optional accoutrements - sliced strawberries, powdered sugar, powdered cocoa, ice cream, whipped cream, crushed nuts

To Do

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Grease two ramekins with butter or spray. If you use smaller ramekins, it will have a better presentation but the larger ramekins work as well.

Put chocolate chips and butter in a heat-proof bowl and in a microwave for 30 second intervals until melted. Be careful not to burn. It took me 2-30 second intervals and a couple of stirs to melt perfectly.

Add in the confectioner's sugar and combine.

Add in egg and mix until smooth.

Add in cake flour, espresso powder, salt, and vanilla extract and mix until combined.

Pour evenly into your two ramekins.

Place ramekins on a baking sheet and put on the bottom rack in your oven for exactly 12 minutes.

As it is a lava cake, it will not be cooked through in the middle. Trust that inner pastry chef and let her/him shine.

Immediately plate with accoutrements and dig in.

Vogueing

two peas in a pod

I actually took another picture instead of just using yesterday's. Honesty is our policy. But that doesn't mean credit isn't nice.

Looks a little lump after adding the sugar, but don't fret and don't over work it because then it will be too exhausted to ooze properly and you'll feel bad.

hello there sunshine.

flour, vanilla, salt and espresso - it's almost party time

look at that little ramekin of love, would you? it doesn't even know what glorious things lie ahead.

 A truly magical 12 minutes later, gently place the cooling rack on a heat-resistant surface while you gather your strawberries, cool-whip or whatever catches your fancy

No plopping - gently place the ramekin on your prettiest of pretty plates. You'll notice that the middle is a darker color. This is good. This is hot gooey lava bubbling beneath the surface.

Make it all pretty and take a picture

or two...however many you can manage until your amour gets at it

then maybe fend them off for a second or two to get a live action shot...

Fantastique! Going...

Going...

Au revoir

Accoutrements

You could, if you so choose (and are an incredibly boring and predictable person) leave your heavenly delight as is, straight out of the oven. It would knock your socks off.

see? now go get your socks before you finish reading...

But it's Valentine's Day y'all. Come on. Throw out the big shots. Carpe diem. (not French but whatever).

During those twelve minutes when you're anxiously awaiting your slice, or ramekin, of pure pleasure, do the following:

put a dab of butter in your smallest saucepan. What's a dab? Probably 1/8th of a tablespoon.

Dice up a couple of strawberries

And plop them in the saucepan with a pinch of sugar. A teensy tiny pinch. Leave them in there for 3 minutes or just until they start to soften.

During that 3 minute time period, when you probably have 5 minutes left on your oven time, make a pretty strawberry fan. It's fun. And it makes you look super fancy schmancy.

You'll have a whole minute or so to spare before you take out the ramekins, put a dollop of cool whip, some cooked strawberries and a pretty fan on top. Look at you, you're practically a pro.

What other toppings would you put on top of your lava cakes?

I bet a spoonful of nutella to the center would be sinful even for the most rich of palates.

Crushed nuts would add a nice bite.

Regarding serving, I'd suggest whipping up the batter along with dinner. It can just hang out for a bit and then you can excuse yourself, kindly place it in the oven and go back to your goblet of wine until it's ready to eat.

Bonne chance!

On the First Day of Valentine's, My True Love Gave to Me

After a last minute surge in voting, we have a winner. It looks as though I'll be spending this week up to my elbows in flour, sugar, chocolate and the like, providing you with five ever-so-lovely treats to give to your sweethearts.

To me, a Valentine's day treat should have the following:
1. incorporation of the day's signature colors - pink and/or red
2. an equally representative shape (i.e. hearts, L-O-V-E, x's and o's)
3. chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate

Today I thought we'd start with something cute as a button and full-proof even for the most baking-phobic of you out there.

Don't miss out though, I have 6 tweeks for you to make this recipe wholly your own impressive, love-inspiring, dream of a dessert.

Enter my family's chocolate fudge cookie. It's ooey, gooey, dense and chewy but best of all, it has a whopping 5 ingredients you plop together in one bowl.

The Governor's Cookies (I don't know why...)
Servings: approximately 2.5-3 dozen

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons butter
1 15-oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
*crushed pecans - optional

To Do

preheat oven to 325 degrees

melt chocolate chips and butter together in a double broiler or in 2-3 45 second rotations in the microwave

add sweetened condensed milk and vanilla to the melted butter and chocolate and stir

add flour and stir until combined

*if adding crushed pecans, add now

put 2 tablespoon balls on lined baking sheet with 2 inches between them

bake for 12 minutes or until crackly on top

Vogueing

party time - chocolate and butter - I tend to microwave them because it's quicker than a double broiler. Just be certain to keep an eye on it so  you don't burn the concoction. Also, use heat resistant bowls.

Oh yummy goodness. One day, I will succumb to the pressure and bathe in it.

It will look like way too much flour initially, but never fear. After about 1 minute of stirring with your favorite utensil (mine is a spoon), you'll be good to go.

See?

This will make approximately 30 cookies. I say approximately because I've never made a full batch without eating significant portions of the batter.

Dressed to Impress

By themselves, they make a delicious treat, but given this is a holiday of grand gestures, we can't stop here, can we?

Of course not.

To really get the job done right and well, find three recipe alternatives below...of the aphrodisiac variety.

*

The Italian Governor's Cookies
Servings: approximately 2.5-3 dozen

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons butter
1 15-oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons espresso powder

To Do

preheat oven to 325 degrees

melt chocolate chips and butter together in a double broiler or in 2-3 45 second rotations in the microwave

add sweetened condensed milk and vanilla to the melted butter and chocolate and stir

add espresso powder and stir

add flour and stir until combined

put 2 tablespoon balls on lined baking sheet with 2 inches between them

bake for 12 minutes or until crackly on top

The Zesty Governor's Cookies
Servings: approximately 2.5-3 dozen

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons butter
1 15-oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
Zest of 1 orange

To Do

preheat oven to 325 degrees

melt chocolate chips and butter together in a double broiler or in 2-3 45 second rotations in the microwave

add sweetened condensed milk and vanilla to the melted butter and chocolate and stir

add orange zest and stir

add flour and stir until combined

put 2 tablespoon balls on lined baking sheet with 2 inches between them

bake for 12 minutes or until crackly on top

*

The Spicy Governor's Cookies
Servings: approximately 2.5-3 dozen

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons butter
1 15-oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons cinnamon

To Do

preheat oven to 325 degrees

melt chocolate chips and butter together in a double broiler or in 2-3 45 second rotations in the microwave

add sweetened condensed milk and vanilla to the melted butter and chocolate and stir

add cinnamon and stir

add flour and stir until combined

put 2 tablespoon balls on lined baking sheet with 2 inches between them

bake for 12 minutes or until crackly on top

Haute Couture Cookie

My very first qualification for a Valentine's Day cookie calls for the requisite pink or red colors. Well, here they are in the most luscious of ways.

Frost That Cookie
Servings: approximately 3/4 cup of frosting

Ingredients

1 cup confectioner's sugar (aka icing sugar, powdered sugar)
1/3 cup softened butter
1/2 cup marshmallow fluff
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon milk (I used almond)

Pink or red non-pareils or sprinkles

To Do

With your mix master, mix the sugar and butter until combined

Add fluff, vanilla and milk and mix until thick and creamy

Frost one side of your favorite Governer's Cookie and make an insanely delicious and incredibly rich cookie sandwich

Now, go out and get yourself some pink or red non-pareils or sprinkles and roll the side of the iced cookies

Vogueing

I took it a step further and after the cookies cooled, cookie-cuttered them into hearts. If you're going to go all out on Valentine's Day, hearts need to be present

Look. It's a jar of hearts...literally.

Truly Ridiculous

Still not decadent enough for you?

Try adding 1/2 a teaspoon espresso powder to the frosting for the Italian Governor's Cookie Sandwiches,

1/2 a teaspoon cinnamon to the frosting for the Spicy Governor's Cookie Sandwiches,

or 1/2 a teaspoon orange juice to the frosting for the Zesty Governor's Cookie Sandwiches

Stay Tuned

This week, be prepared for a Valentine sweet worthy of a magazine cover, a sneaky healthy option, and gasp a treat void of any and all chocolate.

Decisions, Decisions

With mere hours left to vote in our poll, we have a tie. Ties are wretched.

So, in the hopes of inspiring more votes, I've provided interesting facts regarding the two leaders. I know you'll find them truly riveting.

Did you know that if you put an egg in water, a fresh one will float but a stale one will sink?

.

Did you know that physicians in the 1800s prescribed doses of chocolate to patients suffering from a broken heart?

.