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Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Best Baking Plans of Mice and Men and Me

often go awry.

I had a plan.

A glorious plan to make a healthified strawberry shortcake.

A strawberry shortcake so delightfully delectable it would pass the high standards of two serious strawberry shortcake lovers, my daddy and Jon.
It all started so well. This is the last time these tasted pleasant.
Alas, my clever thought to use a flax egg instead of a real egg, almond milk instead of heavy cream and whole wheat pastry flour instead of all purpose flour, wasn't so clever after all.

This is okay though.

This is why you have me.

I make the mistakes for you.

You impress your honey bunches of oats with your mad pastry skills.

Everyone is happy.

I even let you take the credit.

Aren't I giving?

I digress...
This is the prettiest one too....
It doesn't look too too terrible covered in whipped cream and oozy gooey strawberries, does it?
The moral of the story this evening is, do not make my strawberry shortcake.

It's rather dense, and as my incredibly disgruntled father exclaimed, "YUCK. There's no flavor. There's absolutely no flavor in that thing. Grrross.".

Allow me to provide perspective.

This is coming from a man who kept a smile on his face proclaiming "YUMMY" when indulging in my first baking project, a yellow play-dough water concoction.

Never fear my loves, I put my chin up and got right back to baking you a most scrumptious berry crumble. So delightfully sinful, (dare I say it?), you won't even miss the chocolate.

Unfortunately for you, after 4 hours in the kitchen following a 3 hour conference call at work today, you've happened upon a super sleepy me. One so sleepy that I can't find it in me to accurately convey the amazingness that is this berry crumble. I promise I'll come 'round by tomorrow.

Digression #2 of the day: in addition to speaking French some days, I also have days that consist of me making up words such as "healthified" and "amazingness". My apologies.

In the meantime, I hope this teaser suffices.

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